So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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