Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
