i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
