someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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