After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
