So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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