take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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