I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize