i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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