If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize