was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
