I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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