I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
