if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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