We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
