PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
