Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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