His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
