Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
