Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize