i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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