I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
