I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
