Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All I want is dick and wine.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
