the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She said her name was "party"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
