Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
