I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
