your thong is hanging out like whoa
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
