marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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