Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
