he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
