I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
