Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
