you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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