"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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