i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it's like iHOP with fire
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
