She announced her abortion via fbk
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize