Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize