Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
