I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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