he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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