four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
