How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
