I CAN MOONWALK!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
