We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
