But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
