yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
