so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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