I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
