I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
