i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
