Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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