I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
