You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
