i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
