I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
