I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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