The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Be still, my beating vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
