um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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