So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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